Ok so this is my first day in my adventure of trying to make singlemomhood a positive thing. Everyother day I've focused on the negatives and wallowed in my pity. But today is different. It started out well. My mom bought me a foam mattress topper to go on my until now very uncomfortable twin bed. You see I hadn't slept a whole night threw since I moved out of my comfortable king bed. Lets just say I slept so well that I missed my alarm clock and therefore missed church. Tonight will be the real test though since last night I also had a full bottle of wine which could have contributed to the lack of waking up.
So here is the test of the day. I was not going to contact the ex in anyway today. I was going to make him realize that I was really gone. Well I didn't ask, I didn't even text til he text me. I was not going to go over til he asked me and only because the kids need to see each other, damn kids make it hard to play hard to get. And yes I am playing hard to get because he still has feelings for me. He just left because I couldn't make the changes in my life that I needed to make while I was with him. I have a feeling thathe will come back to me, its just a matter of time. Of course this Tracey chick is putting a wrench in my plans. So anyways he just text me and asked me to come over. So off I go I guess, but with the full intention of sitting on a seperate couch and keeping to myself.
This may be harder than I planned. It's hard not to cuddle, kiss, hug the person who you did that with for two years and still have feelings for. Well I shall write again tonight and let you know how the rest of the day went!
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